Just dump the whole thing on me!

I've said this from the start.

Dump the whole bucket on me... Don't slowly fill your cheap water gun from the dollar store, and just shoot me with little drops of water.

Dump.  The.  Whole.  Bucket.  On.  Me.

It's what I want.  It's what I need.

I need to come up, gasping for air, cold from the shock, dry off, warm up and heal.

I don't want little drops hitting me for days, months, years.  I don't want to keep getting wet over and over, and have to continually dry off.

I tell him this.  He looks at me.

I tell him again, he just looks at me.

I tell him again.  For over a year, I've told him this.  He just looks at me.

And is silent.

I have always felt this way.  I'm not a mouse.  I can take a hit.  Just dump the whole thing on me, let me drown a little, and let me sift through the crap.



To be honest?  I thought I was alone in this.  But recently read another blog entry that helped me realize I wasn't the only one to think this way, and that we, as betrayed spouses, deserve the truth if you want to reconcile.

Her entry: Drip, Drip, Drip
Though I'm glad I'm not so alone?  I'm sad that there are so many of us.



I wish he would listen...