Sept. 2015 - Discovered there was another woman.
October 2015 - He promises that the day I discovered them, that he dropped all communication, has not spoken or seen her. We spend this month breaking the marriage down, piece by piece, fighting, crying, making love.
November 2015 - Same. Breaking down a 25 year relationship. He swears no contact still. But is 'done' with me and our marriage. Thanksgiving was sad and I was sure it was our last as a family. My birthday, he was good to me. I go to doctor this month, and discover I need surgery.
December 2015 - Surgery. He's an ass. 20 year anniversary. He ignores me. December 20th found him high tailing it out the door... leaves his family 5 days before Christmas. Christmas comes, he spend the days of that Christmas weekend at our home... But by the 28th, he's horrible again. I pack the kids in the truck and take off for Florida for no apparent reason other than to try to survive. What better place to survive than sitting on Daytona beach?
January 2016 - I get him to come home on Jan. 1st. He's angry, but I don't care. He swears and promises that he did not even see her, talk to her, and there's been no contact with her since Sept. But he's not happy, and thinks he came home too soon.
February 2016 - By the end of this month, I find out that he's a liar. My son informs me that in the middle of December, that he brought her around him at a 'chance' meeting. When confronted, he swears it was not planned, that it was the only time they saw each other, that it was only texting and talking, and that the day he moved back into our house, Jan. 1st, pissed her off, and that was the last he heard from her. Swears no contact has happened, by phone, text or in person.
March 2016 - I make an appt. with a lawyer. I've had enough, he's treating me horrible unless he's taking me to bed. The fights have escalated to the point that he's got a busted windshield, some of his clothes are forever lost to the creek, and our kids are suffering. He moves out again for a week...swearing it's just a break from the fighting, gives the kids a break, and states that if it's a separation that he won't leave. There are times during this month he tries. There are moments during this month that he lets down some walls and I can see him clear. There are moments of kindness and love.
April 2016 - In one day, he tells me it's over, and then hunts me down and throws his arms around me. In just one day, it's over, and he changes his mind.
Good lord... looking at that time line like that? I'm a freaking fool that I couldn't see what was right in front of me the whole time. I have heard that love is blind, and I think I experienced that. I loved him. I loved him... so I blindly believed him. But I think my heart knew all along. I just kept that glimmer of hope that I was wrong, I kept it.
It was like a window for me. The window was open, small light coming through... that was my glimmer of hope. While that light was still shining through, there was hope in my heart that he was telling the truth, that there was nothing between them. That the only relationship they had was text and talking...that they never had a physical relationship.
The window was about to shut for me. The truth was about to hit me like a ton of bricks.
I wonder to this day if it hit me as hard as it did because I believed him. I believed him.
