I saw a post from Caroline Madden, Phd. (Grab her books! They are a big help!) It said, "Signs he will cheat again: He makes YOU find the marriage counselor"
It was a picture, but I can't find it now. I DID find the first counselor. When we sat down, he looked at him and asked him if I could come alone.
Huh?
That guy didn't work out.
So back in July, I told him, "We need help. We need to be able to learn how to get through this, to talk to each other, to heal. Will you find a counselor?" He said, "Yes."
So last week he finally did.
I think it will be a good thing.
I'm angry today, and I've snapped at him through the evening and today.
I want off the ride.
She told me, "Your world as you knew it was rocked. Your foundation that you assumed was strong, has crumbled. You love him, so it makes it difficult to just walk away. You love him, but you fear he will hurt you again, so you don't fully trust the new foundation being built. You're in constant battle with the fear and the love."
She agrees with truth seeking. She also agrees he's been dragging it out too long, and it's time to stop that. I need what I need to heal, and he doesn't get to decide what it is I need.
I have an individual session on Thursday morning. He has his on Tuesday.
I'm looking forward to working through this all, but I'm also afraid of facing it. It's not easy, and it sends me reeling. But I also know in time, it sends me healing.
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